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ATTLEBORO - Every woman should have a credit card in her own name - not as an authorized user under their spouse. It will help with her credit history to buy a car or some other big ticket purchase in the future should her spouse die.

If a woman remarries and has custody of the children, she should consider stipulating in her will that she wants her new spouse to be the guardian in the event of her death, because the children could otherwise go to the other parent.

Those are among the things women might not be aware of in the course of their roles as wife, mother, daughter and businesswoman, but should as part of planning in their best interests for here and in the hereafter, said lawyers Jennifer Taddeo and Michelle Raymond of Doherty, Ciechanowski, Dugan & Cannon of Franklin. The two lawyers offered their advice at a recent forum titled "What Every Woman Should Know About the Law."

Aspects for women

While the law applies to everyone and both genders can benefit from being more knowledgeable, there are aspects that can be particular to women given their various roles, the lawyers said. Prenuptial agreements, for example, "have been, at times, given a bad rap," said Taddeo who specializes in estate and tax laws. "It's not always about divorce, but death."

Nor does everyone need a pre-nup, she said. But it can be beneficial in a second marriage. "I think it's really important for women because it allows both spouses to talk about what will happen. It's a segway to your estate plan," she said.

"It allows your children and others to understand what will happen and can help allay fears.

"You can provide for your spouse, but you can also make sure your assets go to your children and not your spouse's children" should the spouse die, Taddeo told the group of about a dozen women who attended the presentation at the Women at Work Museum.

A prenup is useful, too, because if the woman's spouse dies, her children "cannot come in afterward and say we're sorry, but pack your bags," she said.

The agreement is "more powerful" than a will, Raymond explained, because it's a specific contract between two parties, with individual lawyers separately representing the spouses. Provisions can be made under different laws that would allow for changes should circumstances also change in the relationship in the years that follow, she said.

In Massachusetts, at this time, "you cannot write a will that disinherits your spouse because they can elect against it," making a prenuptial agreement stronger, Taddeo said.

Wills, however, also play a purpose, most importantly in establishing a guardian for young children in the case of one, or both, parents' death, said Raymond, whose practice concentrates on the areas of family and probate litigation and mediation.

"The court won't be privy to what you want," and the person the court might consider to be the closest in terms of relationship or the most logical as guardian, may not be the one you would have chosen, said Taddeo. Having the document in place will make your wishes and intent known.

Similarly, the person who is closest to you might not be the one you would want making decisions on your medical treatment if you were in a car accident, say, and unable to make your wishes known, the lawyers said. They encourage women to get a health care proxy. In Massachusetts, a person can name an individual to make those decisions should you become incapacitated, Taddeo said. It is a legally-binding document. And if the woman has grown children let them know about the proxy.

"You're not awake to say transfer me to Boston" and in some cases, the hospital and insurance company will make the decision for you, she said. "Pick the person who will stand up for what you want" and will also have the ability to question and stand-up to doctors and others for your interests. "That's not necessarily the person who's closest to you."

Undertaking a living will also helps to give your family a guide to your wishes in case of medical treatment or death.

Here was some other advice given by Taddeo and Raymond:

Has your child turned 18? Did you realize that even if your son or daughter is still in high school, you don't have the legal right to make health care decisions or consult with your child's doctors regarding his or her health care treatment or diagnosis without the express written opinion your child? So, if your child is in an accident and unable to provide this permission, a parent would not be able to make or provide input regarding health care decisions, or even the choice of doctors or hospitals.

The lawyers recommended a health care proxy and living will be at the top of all parents' gift lists for their child's 18th birthday.

Handshakes and oral agreements are not worth the paper they're written on, the lawyers said. Make sure, such in the case of a rental agreement, to make sure it's in writing.

If a landlord presents an agreement, but says heat and hot water and trash removal are included, yet it's not in the agreement, get it in writing because if there's a disagreement later on it will be just one person's word against the other's.

"Having them put it into writing is also a good test to see if they're going to be good at their word," Raymond said. If it's family, it can be even more important so that there is agreement up front, possibly preventing a family feud, Taddeo added.

How is your property titled? You might own a property in your name. You might own it jointly with the right of survivorship going 100 percent to the other person. In tenants in entireties you must be married and the survivor automatically owns it 100 percent. But, if you're not longer married, it could be tenants in common. In that case, the lawyers recommended designating in a will who should get your share should you die.

If planning to purchase a property with someone, say a boyfriend, while there may be good intentions, make sure your investment is protected by having an agreement signed up front which stipulates who's responsible for the mortgage or improvements and the such, and if there is a disagreement, how it will be handled.

A lot of times, said Raymond, one individual in that circumstance will not be putting an equal amount of money into the property. It will help to determine how items will be paid and maintained. Also, many times two people buy a home together because it's the only way they can afford it, but one person may not be able to carry those costs alone should the relationship deteriorate.

File a declaration of homestead. It should be done at the closing of a home sale, however, Raymond's experience has been that a number of attorneys have not informed new homeowners that they should do so. A declaration of homestead, filed with the state registry of deeds, can protect the equity in a home up to $500,000, which covers spouses and minor children. It only gets filed under one of the spouse's names.

There are exceptions to the coverage, but check with an attorney. Raymond advised that if you had an original declaration of homestead, but have since refinanced, you will likely want to get a new one because part of the refinancing is releasing the debt of the old homestead declaration.

On the other hand, said Taddeo, if you haven't refinanced, you want the declaration of homestead "as old as you can" because it's only good against creditors from the date it was filed.